The reasons why I chose not to sign my new contract today and study Chinese instead (and do some art ):
(also read…/10-more-reasons-you-need-to…/ )
+ imagining myself behind a computer for the next weeks, months, years scares me. I did this for the last 4 years. there`s nothing new to come. It`s a prison. 
+ I can`t get out of bed in the morning. I have 3 alarms, every half hour, and all go off every five minutes. the Bf doesn`t want sleep in the same bed when i work because of that alarm terror every morning until i get up. If i don`t work i wake up at 7, and happy to start my day.
+will I increase my value whether i Choose A or B? A) if i sit another year in an office, i will be frustrated, bitter and maybe a little richer and full of regrets B) if i study Chinese and dedicate one year to art and other things i like doing, i will be smarter, happier maybe broke but at least no coward
- money: Money would be one of two reasons to make me stay in the office. there`s always more money. Another 2 weeks, another project, another bonus. I could run out of money if I don`t work. Me and my cats will loose the apartment and then starve somewhere in the street. I will eat the rats killer catches for us. and then we all die. Who cares. If money was my driving force i would have studied some business stuff and work in a bank in Switzerland.
- guilt : towards my colleagues: I feel a little bit guilty to leave you, sorry. 
+ but they offered my position immediately to an old colleague. 
+ health: I feel so much more healthy and happy if i don`t work in an office. It doesn`t mean i don`t want to work. I just think sitting 8h a day behind a screen is unnatural and unhealthy. I am not a machine, and i wonder why employers think they can squeeze out their employees from 9 to 6, and give them 15 days holiday a year, and expect them be grateful.? 
+ complaining: almost everyday i complain, that i don`t like sitting behind a computer all day and how bored i am. and that i don`t have time to do the things i like doing.and i am planning to leave and do sth different. 
+ sexism and racism: I know I got this job offer because i am such a great architect. and i am white. better if I`d be a man, but at least Caucasian.We are here to present projects and the office can say foreigners did it. It`s pretty much the same as any other so called monkey show. If we don`t present in public or to some jury we are CAD monkeys, and they respect the male, but not the female. I don`t want to be a monkey. 
+time: I feel like I am wasting my life. especially meetings. I hate meetings, where i don`t understand, translation becomes meaningless. nobody is really allowed to have an opinion, so nobody loses their faces and at least everybody spent two hours showing off. a waste of time. always bring your phone to meetings, so you can wechat and play jewels.
+ creativity, inspiration: I think the computer sends waves into my brain and detects creative thoughts and eliminates them. or stores them somewhere. even if i feel creative, i had no energy to materialize my ideas.
+ I am really really excited that I choose to leave. Leave my golden birdcage and fly. I am scared and excited, but life is too short to sit in a cage forever and to forget how to fly. 
the force shall be with me! 
Thanks everybody for supporting me and giving me advice (even the one who called me a coward. :))